Different people have different expectations and styles of working together. Sometimes that can lead to conflict. This article will help you recognise causes of conflict and proposes strategies to resolve it.

Everyone will experience challenging personal situations and potentially conflict at some point during their time at university. These can be stressful and cause high levels of anxiety, especially for autistic students. This section of the toolkit is designed to offer advice that might help to deal with these incidents in a way that helps to diffuse or manage them most effectively.

Based on autistic students’ experiences of university, the sorts of things that can generate conflict include:

• A lack of awareness and understanding about autism
• Being thought of as rude when really you are just struggling with a social or sensory environment
• Feeling let down by someone
• People not understanding that you need your own space at times
• Misinterpreting what someone has said, especially if it is sarcastic or ironic
• Team members not contributing equally in group work activities / assessments
• Where the University has not made sufficient provisions or adjustments

Conflict can be especially challenging for some autistic students who might struggle to identify or decode more subtle messages, or ‘unspoken rules’ in a particular environment.

Therefore, it can be useful to know how to identify conflict early and to deal with it effectively.

• Stop. Don’t try to resolve the conflict if you are emotionally upset or angry.
• Don’t just ignore it. If you are becoming anxious or stressed by a conflict then you need to do something about it.
• Get perspective. Talk over the situation with someone who is outside of it; this could be a mentor, friend, counsellor, or your parents.
• Write it down. Sometimes writing out what is troubling you can be helpful for helping you think through the situation and also the possible solutions.
• Look at it from all sides.
• Talk to those involved. It can be helpful to identify a time and place, so that you can really discuss the matter fully.
• Stick to the facts. Outline clearly if there are things that are bothering you or if you feel that there is some tension that needs addressing; for example “It upset me when…”
• Identify solutions. The best outcome will be one where you can resolve the matter positively, so as well as explaining the problem, think about possible solutions as well.

• Who can you talk to about the conflict or situation?
• Where can you go to relax if and when the conflict is causing you distress?
• What would be the ideal outcome?

This article was written by Jonathan Vincent, Senior Lecturer at York St. John University.